Agency and Autonomy
We often get these two confused - let's clear that up!
It can be so confusing when we begin to use terms like agency and autonomy interchangeably. Let’s be clear — we always have agency. And yes, our autonomy does vary a lot throughout any given day.
Agency is your ability to make choices, you are self-empowered to determine how you will show up to meet life’s moments.
Autonomy is about the wiggle room you have in any given situation. When you are at work, you adhere to certain standards or guidelines for acceptable behavior. When you are in a library, you comply with the need for quiet and hushed tones. If you are on a river float in an inflatable raft, you will avoid rocking the boat.
We might think that our agency is being impacted when are in the workplace, library or inflatable raft, but the confines of the physical space does not confine how we behave. We have agency over how we interact with others, how we shape the shared experience, what we extract from these moments in life.
We always have agency.
Our autonomy is simply the natural limitations of the container we are in. That container might be our car, our workspace, a coffee shop, a classroom, our home.
There is one more element that accompanies the container - it is the people with whom we are sharing that container.
You may think that your autonomy is restricted because of the company you keep. But is that really true? Do you find it easier to be at your best when you are at work? Are you able to keep your thoughts to yourself and your emotions in check when you are holding yourself to the standards of the workplace?
Are you sometimes surprised that you can’t keep it together as naturally when you are at home? Surely you feel that you have much more autonomy and wiggle room in your own living room than your office conference room — but why is is then that you lose your cool, have knee jerk reactions and blow things out of proportion?
Is there a correlation between the more expansive wiggle room you actually do have at home, where you have increased freedom and greater autonomy — yet you fail to remember you also have agency?
Stop for a moment to ponder the contrast.
Why is it so much easier to be at your best at work, day in and day out, where your autonomy is somewhat limited by workplace standards and shared expectations? Could it be that some social norms, clearly defined rules of engagement, and common acceptable behavioral guardrails are actually incredibly helpful?
We have agency in the workplace and it draws out the best in us. Consistently.
All the while, we cannot wait to get home and have greater autonomy to be ourselves.
What actually happens when you let your hair down, relax your guard, fall into old habits and forget that even at home, you are part of a team? You do in fact have greater autonomy but are you forgetting that you also have incredible agency?
When we are at work or in public settings, we operate with more self-awareness and clarity. We rely quite heavily on our personal agency to make choices about how we are showing up. We have greater self-control. We intuitively deploy psychological and emotional strategies and tools to help us achieve good outcomes.
Who are you when no one is watching? Who are you when you are in the company of your loved ones? Is there a clear distinction between your public persona and the one that shows up at home with the people you personally picked?
Rather surprising isn’t? I do love these aha moments — when close self-examination reveals a hidden truth.
So often, in the spaces and places where we do in fact have greater autonomy, we completely forget about our personal agency.
We long for more wiggle room and then we get all tangled up and make a mess of things. We are free to roam and we get lost because we unconsciously fail to exercise our agency.
We might even find ourselves looking forward to returning to work tomorrow — where we feel like we can really be our true selves! (Did that make you laugh out loud?)
If there is a gap between how you feel at work and how you feel at home — take stock of both your agency and autonomy. Could it be that the natural guardrails that are present in the confines of work, the library, the inflatable river float, your car — are actually helping you lean into your personal choices and make better decisions in the long run? Do you have a solid, consistent track record of producing good outcomes in the very places where you think you have less autonomy and agency?
Is there more turmoil and chaos at home than work? Do you feel less agency and autonomy at home? Is that really true? Are you bringing your best self (along with a healthy dollop of self control and self awareness) to your family and friends — as readily as you do at work?
Close the gap by setting up some guardrails for yourself in the places where you find you struggle most with both your personal agency and what you believe is a lack of autonomy.
The standards you set for yourself will help you show up more consistently, with greater agency and solid decision making, regardless of the container you are in and the people who share it with you.